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Shame is a natural human response that can find a cozy, permanent home in the living body.
Mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and energetically...
Shame can hold us back from all that life has to offer. A life half-lived, half-lit.
Shame makes us think we are the ONLY UNDERDOG ON THE PLANET.
Shame says: "NOT YOU, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WON'T GET IT." Whatever it is.
The noblest fight is to engage in taking down these defenses that hide the most vibrant aspects of ourselves.
The defenses emphasize the tougher parts to love. The parts that shove us into blind compulsions or fast pleasures. There is no such thing as "selective numbing". If we choose to numb the pain, we miss out on the stuff worth living for.
The only way is THROUGH. Not resting on top of our pain Not squirming below in submission Not inhaling a cigarette, driving 90 mph on a highway with a case of the "F*** It All's" out a rolled-down window
True nobility lies in the one who is desperately willing to finally get quiet. To lean into skin-crawling discomfort To relax the muscles that hold the blade in To look sincerely into the eyes of another, and recognize the golden strand of their worth among a gnarled knot of imperfections To learn to look for yourself in them And do that 1000 more times, until a seed gets planted in the subconscious The work is in rewriting the saga that you've whispered since age 4 with every effort to save yourself from defining judgement.
"Little you" seeks your love by trying to "protect" you in the only ways it learned how. To shut everything down/ to run away/ to hide/ to clench the jaw/ to consume voraciously You're older now. "Little you" is desperately looking for the only one who will understand.. The NOW you- just as you are.
You may be too "UGLY" to look at yourself with a half-smile in the mirror, but YOU UNDERSTAND BETTER THAN ANYONE HOW THEY FEEL. Therein lies your power.
The Hero's journey is Everyman's journey.
There is nothing light and fluffy about true self-forgiveness ("the moment before" self-love). Don't let them fool you.